


Snow in November

by bluetoast



Series: Winter of Discontent [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cancer, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Minor Chirrut Îmwe/Baze Malbus, Minor Surgery, Rey Needs A Hug, Sick Kylo, ballet dancer Rey, don't you want someone to talk to, it's only going to get rougher from here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 18:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11362938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetoast/pseuds/bluetoast
Summary: The first time Kylo went through treatment for leukemia, he was alone. Now Rey is with him, and for her, it's more daunting than she originally thought. And this is only the first morning of the first day. Thankfully, someone who is also walking down the same road is there to offer some advice.Written for HC Bingo - prompt - Counseling.





	Snow in November

Kylo had honestly hoped that his leukemia would have given him more than three years before returning. He'd been certain it should have been longer; he'd followed all of the rules and regulations for staying healthy and in remission. He was certain and determined to remain cancer-free; he'd taken better care of his body in the past three years then he had for the entirety of his first twenty-one, all with the understanding that his cancer wouldn't come back. He'd also been told he had only a fifteen percent chance of a relapse, and now, he here was, filling out forms that he knew all too well. He glanced over at Rey, who had a clipboard and forms of her own to fill out. “You okay?” 

“I feel like I should be asking you that.” she frowned, worrying her bottom lip. “I think I'll be stopping at the store on the way home to buy a few gallon jugs of hand-sanitizer.” She looked around the small waiting room they were in; the pile of old magazines on the table, the rack with nearly two dozen pamphlets stuck in their own designated slot. Their covers showing people far too happy to actually be suffering from the illnesses printed above their heads. 

“You'll probably be given a list of things to purchase.” He reached over and squeezed her knee, looking away from the walls that hadn't changed since the last time he was in here. Only the magazines were different. “It's going to be okay.” He turned back to his paperwork, copying the list of medications he'd taken the during his last battle, and the ones he was currently on – as if they all weren't in his paperwork already. Then again, doctors moved on, changed – and they also had plenty of patients to take care of. Not to mention therapies changed, became more advanced, less complicated; it was a headache just thinking about it. 

Rey cleared her throat, and he heard her tapping her pen against the clipboard. “They want to know everything, don't they?” She snickered. “I know I'm up to date on my immunizations, but why does that matter?”

He finished the list he was copying. “Because my immune system is about to be more or less shut down so the chemo works. If you got a vaccine and came home, since my immunity will be compromised, I could catch the disease. I don't need measles or something on top of cancer.” He saw the color drain from her face. “Now you know why I think anti-vaxers are beyond stupid.” 

She shook her head. “I think those people just need to do a Google Search of _polio_ and look at the images.” She rubbed her temple. “And it seems like I should know my blood type.” 

“It should be on your donor card. I know you have one.” Kylo chuckled. “Not to mention we had blood tests before we were married. They should have told you then, if you didn't know beforehand.” He double checked the papers and then set the pen in the top of the clipboard. “I'm B positive, for which I've heard every single pun imaginable.” 

Rey dug into her purse and pulled out her wallet and fished out the small white card. “O negative.” She made a face. “I'm definitely going to be donating blood before I leave today.” She gave him a wry grin. “That beats listening to a stage mom want to know why we won't let her six year old wear toe shoes any day.” 

Kylo smirked. “Even I know that's a bad idea. Toes are delicate things and at six, they're still growing.” 

“Exactly. Google Search Chinese foot binding for more proof.” She leaned back in her seat, sighing, then her expression changed and she looked over at him. “They're going to ask about our sex lives, aren't they?”

“Not in any great detail. Most likely they'll just want to confirm we're not actively trying to have a baby and when we tell them no, they'll just give us a reinforcement on to make sure that we use more than one type of protection.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It wasn't an issue last time.” He felt her hand on his knee.

“Answer to when we're having a baby – or trying for one – six years. Give or take a few.” She paused, thinking. “That's what we decided, wasn't it?”

He nodded, then leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Yeah.” He wasn't entirely sure what a second battle with cancer would do to his reproductive system; he hadn't really thought about it the first time. It wasn't that he and Rey didn't want kids, far from it – but the two of them knew that they weren't ready for kids. His parents weren't demanding grandchildren, and really – given how he'd grown up, it'd be rich of them to even bring the subject up. “Then again, if this is anything like the last time I did this, all I'm going to want to do is sleep nearly all the time.” 

“I'll let you sleep, but I may coax you awake to check and see if you want to eat.” She finished with her papers. “That reminds me, did either of your parents call you back yet?”

“No. Rather than wait for them to call at the wrong time, I sicced Uncle Luke on them.” He smirked. “But I should warn you, if he's out in full force on getting a hold of my mother, she may show up here next week, unannounced.” He took her clipboard and crossed the room, tapping on the glass that separated them from the nursing station. 

The woman on the other side push the window open. “Got everything?” 

“I think so.” He handed her the two boards, managing a smile. “Thank you.” 

She took them, giving the two sets of forms a cursory look. “Be just a few minutes.” 

“Not a problem.” He nodded and went back to join Rey, sitting down with a groan. “Thus begins the great waiting game.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. He knew how the rest of his day would go; a more in-depth physical, blood draws, and more questions than he could count. He felt Rey's leg brush his and her head fell against his shoulder. “It's nothing I haven't been through already.” 

“I know.” She let out a breath. “But I wasn't here the first time, so I have no idea how this is all going to go.” There was a long pause. “What did your boss tell you?”

“That I have enough sick time saved up that it shouldn't be a problem. I worked there the last go-round, so they know the routine.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I would be in the tiny percentage that suffers a relapse. This will probably be much easier than the last time.” 

“You're just saying that to make me feel better, aren't you?” Rey snickered.

“No, I'm serious. Doctor Komer said that catching it as early as we did, it'll be easier. I was already in stage three last time, and I crawled my way out of that. This, medically speaking, should be a walk in the park.” Kylo knew that no matter how many times he tired to reassure Rey, it'd never quite sink in. She had worried over him in the past three days than was necessary; but he went along with it. Every now and then, she could be straight up fussy – and it was somewhat endearing. “I'm going to lose all my hair.” 

“It'll grow back.” Rey pulled away and ran her fingers along his scalp. “You were wearing a skull cap when I met you – I remember. I remember I was confused at first, because it was August, muggy and terrible, and there you were, dressed like you were ready to tread through a foot of snow.” 

Kylo grinned, remembering that it'd taken her half an hour after meeting to finally realize what he'd been wearing. However, given her state at the time, he couldn't blame her. “I still have that cap. I think it's in my sock drawer.” 

She shook her head and stiffened as the door opened and a nurse leaned into the room. “Mr. Organa?” 

“I'll be back in a bit.” He kissed Rey, pulled his cell from his back pocket and handed it to her before standing and following the nurse, the door shutting behind them with a soft click. Same bland hallway, smelling faintly of Lysol and something else he never could quite identify. The nurse glanced back at him, and he could read her name tag. “How are you this morning, Rose?”

The woman gave him a surprised look, then smiled. “As long as the caffeine keeps working, I'll be great.” She led him into one of the exam rooms and gave him a once over before pulling out a plastic wrapped gown. “I'll give you a few moments to change.” She paused. “Do you want your wife back here with you?”

He shook his head. “Not just yet.” It wasn't that he wouldn't have minded having Rey back here, but he felt that she really didn't need to come back just to watch the basics of the whole exam – weight, blood draws, all the mundane things. “I still get to leave my socks on, right?”

“Uh huh.” She gave him a smile and then stepped out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her. 

Kylo unfolded the gown and then pulled off his sweater, folding it neatly on the chair next to the scale. “Here we go again.” 

*

Rey had stared at the closed door for perhaps five minutes before she got up and walked over to the rack of pamphlets, pulling out the one on myeloid leukemia – both the chronic and acute, and went back to her seat, knowing that just looking these over wasn't going to do anything to reassure her about Kylo's condition, but she didn't like the idea of going into this completely blind. She knew that even if she had known more about the disease, there wasn't any way she could have detected it sooner. While he reassured her that he had only had thought he might be imagining the symptoms, or trying to dismiss them, she couldn't help but wonder that if she _had_ recognized the issues, she could have gotten him to the doctor and treatment sooner.

“What exactly does it mean to catch it early, anyway. How early?” She muttered to herself as she heard the outer door click open and another couple came into the room. She glanced up to see a thin, wan looking man holding onto the harness of a guide dog, a chocolate lab, have a seat and the second man walk over to the glass and tap on it. 

“Good morning, Baze.” The woman within answered, and Rey could hear the smile in her voice. “How are we this morning?”

“We're all good.” He chuckled. “Don't worry, Kayso will stay here until Chirrut is settled.” 

Rey figured Kayso must be the dog. Odd name. She glanced over at the man still waiting, and he lifted his chin, grinning. 

“Baze, quit flirting with Jessica. And do not even think of flirting with the other young woman in the waiting room.” Rey's eyes widened as she noticed something about the thin man; he was blind, and yet, had known she was there. That was almost creepy.

“Be nice.” Baze replied, going back over to the man, then glanced at Rey. “He can most likely smell your shampoo from here, he's not physic.”

She smirked in reply. “It's still creepy. Manners matter.” 

Both of the men chuckled and Chirrut put the harness of Kayso down and unfolded a long, white, thin cane with a red tip as the inner door opened. “Behave. Both of you.” He stood and made his way over to the door, the same nurse who had taken Kylo back stood there. 

“Good morning, Chirrut.” She said, and the door clicked shut before Rey could hear the man reply. 

“You're new here.” Baze said towards Rey, and she turned to look at him, and she could see the tender look on his face; one that was full of reassurance and calm. “aren't you?”

“Is it that obvious?” She gathered up her and Kylo's coats and moved closer to the man, so they weren't shouting across the room. “Rey Organa.” 

“Baze Malbus.” He looked her over. “Husband or wife?” 

“Husband.” She rubbed her temple as the dog stood and came over to her, setting his head on her knee. “What's that for?”

“He wants affection.” He chuckled. “Go ahead, he doesn't bite.” 

Rey smiled as she set her other hand on the dog's head, rubbing the area gently. “Does this ever get any easier?” Strangely, she felt slightly better than she had five minutes ago.

Baze shook his head. “It's a hard battle, Rey, but some days aren't as bad as others. Today is a good day. The beginning is rough, the middle part is tough, and the end – well, the end is either agony or joy.” He shot a look towards the door. “We're heading into the middle.” 

“Oh.” She swallowed, looking down. “I didn't know my husband during his first battle, well, not at the start of it. He was heading into remission when we met.” 

He gave her a warm smile that reminded her of her grandfather. “Then perhaps, with you now here, his second battle will not be as difficult as the first.” He cleared his throat. “Support always helps, Mrs. Organa. But that applies to both of you. Medicine, treatment, nurses, and doctors can only do so much.” He leaned forward and Kayso went over to him, letting out a low whine as he put his head on the man's knee, and Baze set his hand on the dog, comforting it. “Take care of each other, and take care of yourself. Because if you're a wreck, you can't take care of your husband.”

Rey nodded, knowing what he meant. “I just feel lost, knowing as little about his illness as it is.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “And I hate not knowing things.” 

“Once you know what's going on, it'll be easier to learn.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “And you're allowed to take baby steps, Mrs. Organa. You don't need to rush out and buy every book on cancer there is. Odds are, as soon as you finished with the first stack of reading material, half the information could be outdated.” 

She looked up, slightly horrified. “Is that your attempt at humor?”

“You can either laugh or cry, Mrs. Organa. Know what you're facing before you read everything. It'll only send you into panic if you read about the wrong illness.” He shrugged, leaning back. “Lung cancer and colon cancer are two separate battles.” 

“I think people tend to lump all cancers together and think they're all the same.” She wrinkled her nose. “My exposure has been a string of fiction books, most of them outdated. And _My Sister's Keeper_ made me furious. The book more than the movie.”

“That shit.” He scoffed. “My book club read it a few years ago. I am glad that the movie changed the ending. Not that Kate dying was any better than Anna, but it's beyond twisted the kind of guilt that she had to live with in the end.” 

Rey managed a smile. “It's not good any way you look at it.” 

“True.” He covered a cough as the inner door opened again, the nurse was back.

“Mrs. Organa?” She called and Rey stood, gathering up her and Ben's coats, and double checked to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

“It was nice meeting you, Mr. Malbus.” She said as she walked towards the door.

“And you, Mrs. Organa.” He replied and the door cut him and the dog off from view.

“This way.” The nurse, Rose, Rey noted by her name tag, led her down a hallway that seemed terrible to her. It was too long, in her opinion, too long and reeked of cleaner. The exam rooms were closed off and they finally came to room near the end of the hall, another, smaller waiting room, with a plaque reading 'Family Consult' on the door. They went inside and the woman gave her another smile. “Mrs. Organa, we're going to be giving your husband a bone aspiration. It's a simple procedure, but given how fast this type of leukemia can spread, it's necessary.” 

Rey nodded, “What exactly does that mean? I mean, what is the procedure?”

“We will take a sample from his hipbone and send it in for analysis. The injection area will be sore for a few days, so he'll need to stay in bed for the rest of today and probably most of tomorrow.” Rose shifted the clipboard she was holding. “I take it the two of you came in the same car, yes?”

“We did. I already figured I would have to drive home.” She did her best to smile. “Let me guess, don't let him strain himself, keep him quiet, avoid excitement?” 

The other woman snickered. “Someone's done their reading. That's a pleasant change.” 

Rey shook her head. “No, I just have seen people in my line of work re-break injured parts of their bodies because they tried to do to much too fast.” She shuddered. “You see one compound fracture, you never want to see another.” She could remember clearly the day when she was fifteen and a girl in her class had destroyed her tibia after trying to get back on pointe after a broken ankle. 

Rose's eyebrows lifted. “And that's exactly why I stay out of the ER.” she looked back at the clipboard. “You can stay with your husband during the aspiration, it's simple enough. We'll just need to cover your mouth and clothes.” 

The idea of watching doctors poke her husband with needles made her stomach turn over; but then she felt ashamed at the thought. He'd had to go into those rooms and through these procedures alone last time, as far as she knew. Besides, if she just sat here, she'd just worry herself sick, and getting sick was not an option right now. “I can do that.” She looked at the bundle she was holding. “Is there a better place to put our coats?”

“This way.” They went back out into the hallway and into another room that had a long row of locked cabinets. “Just make sure your cell phones are off when you put them inside.” She opened one of them and Rey put the coats inside, checking the phones before adding them to the pile and shut the door. Rose handed her the key and she put in her pocket. “Not exactly how you were planning on spending your Saturday, I take it?”

“There are worse ways.” Rey just really wanted to see Kylo. 

“I know.” She offered another smile and led her back into the hallway, turning past the waiting room and to another hallway and stopped another door, and she knocked before opening the door. “Mrs. Organa is here.” 

“We're just about ready to start, Rose.” A man's voice answered and Rose held the door open, admitting Rey into the room. 

“Thank you.” She said to the woman as she slipped inside, and almost fell over. Kylo was lying face down on the table, his head turned to the side, and she could tell whatever drugs they had given him were already taking affect, given the dopey grin on his face. 

“Here you are, Mrs. Organa” Rose said, offering her a loose gown and a facial mask. She quickly put them on, then used the hand sanitizer dispenser, lathering her hands in the clear gel. She winced as the alcohol stung a tiny cut on her hand. She hadn't even known it was there.

“It's okay, Rey.” Kylo sounded sleepy and she went over towards him, uncertain. As she stood next to him, she could see the glassy look in his eyes, a sharp contrast to the smile on his lips. She nearly blushed at the memory of the last time she'd seen that kind of expression; after a rather kinky round of sex that she wasn't about to share with anyone.

She set a hand on his hair, stroking his forehead with her thumb and he closed his eyes. She glanced back at Rose, who was swabbing Kylo's hip with gauze soaked in alcohol. Not wanting to see what was coming, she quickly turned her focus back on her husband's face, and kept her hand where it was. 

Under her mask, she gave her husband a smile.

 _Baby steps,_ she told herself, remembering Baze's words to her. _Baby steps._


End file.
